At the very beginning of a romantic relationship, when you, wrapped in feelings, ready to forgive all his shortcomings, it is difficult to soberly assess the situation. But for the sake of your future security and peace of mind, you just have to carefully examine your partner and find out if he has the inclinations of the abuser. It’s not that hard to do. These or those qualities of the aggressor will be manifested, and even if it happened once, you should not give yourself hope that it will not happen again.
Girls who fall into the trap of an abusive relationship will be exposed to constant emotional and/or physical violence, scandals, quarrels and insults. In order not to find you in this situation, we talked to the expert and learned how to calculate the aggressor.
- He imposes his will on you
The abuser’s gonna try to control you by doing it covertly, on his own. He will put his desires above yours, so some strange suggestions on his part regarding personal boundaries are not excluded.
- “I can, you can’t”
Can’t you talk to an opposite gender? Does the man himself leave such an opportunity for himself? “I’m allowed, you’re not allowed” is a condition that the aggressor constantly puts on his victim. In normal relations, agreements and restrictions apply to two partners at once, but never to just one. Double morality is another sign of a tyrant. If this point is about your relationship, you should definitely consider whether you need it.
- He can’t be compassionate
As a rule, you can’t expect sincere warmth and support from the abuser. Even if you have problems, he can easily swing the phrase “I don’t have time” or “Stop whining”. Without benefit, such a person will not have compassion or help. A tyrant’s own feelings are much higher than another person’s.
- “It’s only your fault”
In a relationship with an abuser, the victim gets used to taking the blame. It is useless to argue with such people or prove anything to them. If the situation is obvious and your partner is guilty but rejects it, think about whether his behavior is consistent with other points.
- Insults and humiliations
Insults and all the more humiliation, even during a quarrel, make it clear that you have a real aggressor in front of you. Added to this are evil jokes, which some “harmlessly” let go, but in fact they deeply hurt the person. But here you need to feel the edge: funny jokes do not count.